You Have One Advantage Over Me... You Can Kiss My A** and I Cant!!!

Life is like a box of condoms
no matter what one you chose
u still goin 2 get screwed in the end!!

Some people skinny dip while others chunky dunk

"You might be able to beat me in a fight, its very possible. The only question I have is, can you outrun a bullet?"

I saw you today and couldnt help but laugh

I wish my lawn was emo so it would cut itself!

Tell your pants it's not nice to point

The Good: Your wife is pregnant.

The Bad: With Triplets.

The Ugly: You got a vissectomy five years ago.

Hi, I'm Skittles, wanna taste my rainbow?

Whats happens if you get scared 1/2 to death twice...?