Batnipples

LOL @ the dude buying condoms and getting his card declined. He just got cokc blocked by Visa!

At Dairy Queen: Me: Medium Oreo Blizzard please. DQ: You wanna spoon? Me: Sure, when do you get off?

HELP !!

I am just 74 years old and every time I look in this mirror there is some OLD man looking back at me.

I hate these Antique mirrors !!

Twitter = Unfollow. Facebook = Unfriend. You = Unforgettable.

My brain is about as well organized as the Walmart $5 dvd bin.

The problem with the world today is that the smart people are full of doubts while the stupid ones are full of confidence.

After I drink coffee I show my empty mug to the IT guy and tell him I've successfully installed Java. He hates me.

I just high-fived a Jedi. Ok, it was an Ewok. Or a midget. I just slapped a kid in the head. Whatever. I wish I knew a Jedi.

Teens, you should not be getting drunk. You're annoying enough as it is.