"I Am" is one of the shortest sentence in the English language. "I Do" is the longest

A penny for your thoughts
a nickle for a kiss
a dime if you tell me that you love me ....
imagine what i'd do for a quater

Don't let the pretty face fool you...
I ROLL LIKA BOSS

Safe sex is great sex.. Better wear a latex.. cuz you dont want the late text.. The "i think im late" text

Guy 1: I keep getting a negative answer for number ten. what does that mean?
guy 2: it means ur gay
guy 1: yay real funny. I'll just ask the professor.
professor: watcha doin' tonight?

Girl: Sometimes I just feel like you never notice me...Charles...I think we should break up...

Charles: WHAT THE HELL?!
Benches aren't supposed to talk!!

Guy #1: hey, what happened to your legs?
guy #2: moe like, what happened to your arms?
guy #1: Holy crap!

Dont mess with a girl who can leave you messed up

Living it up then falling back down
I loved the way you pushed me around
Smiles with tears, hurt with laughter
so much for happily ever after

Everything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.