So you love a gay guy who likes a straight guy who loves a lesbian girl who is crazy for her straight friend? Well that's not a love triangle that's a fcuking polygon!

The girlfriend pisses me off so much, I wanna grow old with her just to watch her die.

She asked me for time and distance. I guess she wants to calculate velocity.

Of course you are cute, you have hair covering 90% of your ugliness.

Fcuk me like I ruined your credit.

You don't have to like me, I'm not a facebook status.

Beauty is in the eyes of BEER holder

I'm just a guy struggling to find the appropriate level of inappropriateness for every social interaction I'm unlucky enough to be a part of.

It's like I was chasing after you and I really, really wanted to catch you. But now I realize if you wanted to be caught, you would have stopped running.

Boobs: because you can't suck on a girls personality.