When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come
yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?

***Not mine, but i thought it was hilarious***

Hey, I have the same locker combo as you, except with different numbers!

Lol, my friend said this to me the other day when I was trying to open my locker.

What would Scooby do?

Some people call them marbles,
And some call them screws,
It really dont matter,
Cuz were all missing a few.

Why is it people are more scared to see two guys holding hands, than to see two guys holding guns?

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.

Most dudettes think dudes with muscles are hot. My theory to that is...bull! Any dude can work out but it takes a special dude to try and get off the couch!

You may be 333 (half evil)
Or you could be 666 (evil)
But i'm 121212 (I make saten piss himself)

I'm a palm reader. *gasp* you're gonna die, but don't worry, you'll live through it.

Whoever said nothing was impossible abviously never tried slamming a revolving door!