I was thrown out of NYU my freshman year for cheating on my final. I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
-Don't remember from who

Whats intimidating to others is exactly what im looking for...

Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them

You've been with blondes, bored by brunettes, but you haven't tried a redhead yet.

Quitting smoking is easy... ive done it thousands of times...

I think people first got AIDS from eating monkeys...atleast I hope they were eating them.
-Erin

Psychiatrists don't prescribe viagra.
-Kat

If our politics got any better, we'd all be swinging around on vines eating bananas all day.

You know Santa Clause can really be very scary...

"he knows when you are sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he knows if you been bad or good so be good for goodness sakes!."

That's really enough to make someone paranoid....

My hamster died the other night...it fell asleep at the wheel