If Looks Could Kill
You would Of Been Dead A long Time Ago

I Must Be A Mushroom
Everyone Keeps Me In The Dark
And Keeps Feeding Me Bullshit.

If I Had A Brain
I Would Be Dangerous

REDNECK WORDS

person1: jeet yet
person2: no jew
person1: u ount to

jeet: didja eat
jew: did u
ount: want

When dogs come up n the yard my dad goes out on the front porch and yells:

enonouere

enonouere: get on outta here

I rather be
smok'in hot
then hang with you
and be
smok'in pot

Why are freeways really expensive to build and highways really close to the ground?

again, from my friend Stephen

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Got that from my friend Stephen

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we.... They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."

- President Bush, presidential address

When life hands you lemons, stuff them down your shirt and make your boobs bigger.

My drunk friends fat and skinny argument

sam: fatty fatty 2 by 4 cant fit threw the bathroom door so she pisses on the floor

nikki: skinny skinny b*tc^es with ur fast metabolisms

(it was such a ridiculous comeback that i had to share it)