Midnight Rambles

by Star   Feb 20, 2020


The day is as smooth and sweet
as her weekend strawberry sundae,
and the time she spends
melts in her mouth just as fast.

The dragon that wraps itself tighter
around her with the setting sun,
doesn't take away the light
of her imperfect eyes.

It isn't the night nor the shadows
she created that makes her
strangle herself every night
in her own dream.

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 5 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Wonderful use of metaphor, STAR. Sorry I missed this. In fact, sorry I have been a little quieter in general. Life gets in the way sometimes...

    Take care.

    • 5 years ago

      by Star

      Thank you Ben it really has been a while :)
      It’s alright everyone has been busy lately!

  • 5 years ago

    by prasanna

    double post sorry.

  • 5 years ago

    by prasanna

    "melts in her mouth as fast" i feel like it should be "melts in her mouth just as fast" to be a bit more clear. I like the seeming callback to your earlier poem about imperfect visible light.

    "It isn't the night nor the shadows
    she created, that makes her
    strangle herself every night
    in her own dream."

    I think the comma is unneeded. I like this piece, there's an allure to it since it's vague and makes one think about what is it that disturbs her sleep.

    • 5 years ago

      by Star

      Thanks you are right :)

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