Swallowed up by the sound of rapid breathing
Watching as it slowly fluctuates
What has brought such mischief of this wounded wanderer
Was it done on purpose or by accident
Captivated by her own stolidness
Tasting every bit of sweetness of her rapture
Waiting for someone to relieve her silent sobs
She can't speak nor move
The door opens behind me, feeling a familiar presence
I turned around to be faced with a man
The one who joined in with the cruelty of life
He, who is the one who gave life to her and experience every bits of false serendipity
The unwanted presence slowly walks towards her
Tried to reach for her cold, dying hand
Instead of hurting her, he did something unexpected
He reminisced every moment
Flabbergasted by the sudden approach
A crystalline tear escaped her eyes
She held on to her quiet weeping
Despising the man kneeling beside her
"I have always loved you my dear"
Those words kept echoing inside her head
She can't be deceived, not this time
"With those untruthful words, you almost brainwashed me and with that, you only gave me a reason to leave."
Then, everything went quiet
She fell into an eternal blissful sleep
I came towards the sleeping body and stared at the image,
Realizing it was all me.
Wow, that was an amazing write! a very twisted peice. The ending really turned over the whole poem, and showed some real depth. Your words were incredible, they really lead you to see this scared and unknown image. I loved the crystaline tear imagery. thought that gave the poem a nice touch.
It was a very twisted piece, Some of it made sense and parts didn't , but it fell together at the end, I liked that, It flowed pretty good, but it was a bit inconstistant, It was one of those poems that got me thinking about life, and the irony in it, Good work, 5/5
Wow - I started to read that and got a bit confused half way through as to who "she" and "I" was - I was thinking you were just swapping from first to third person but accident - but then at the end I realised what was going on.