"Thanks so much for having us over, and this furniture was all free?"

NEWSFLASH: SUICIDAL TWIN KILLS SISTER BY MISTAKE

Soo....pads are pretty much the same as adult diapers?

If i tell you this will you promise not to cry?

----you make me sick------

big baby i told you not to cry!!!!

Kid: mom am i fat?
mom: yes now get in the car!
kid: but dad said im husky.
mom: that means fat!

p.s. i didnt rite this one, i found it in the newspaper...

When I look into your eyes
I see your pupils.

"You know, your boyfriend is acting like a girl"
"He's just in touch with his feminine side."
"Yeah... and he needs to stop touching it."

-Me and my friend.

Guys are like pennies they have a head and a tail

_ lindsey

Yo Mama's so fat that not even the energizer bunny could make her go all night long!

Y3ah so im not perfect DEAL with it tho cause i really dont give a ....