Brittany has a crusty butthole

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. HOWEVER... The roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty, and so is ur head!!
MOUAHAHAHAHAHA!!! LoL!

Anything is possible with ductape.

I tried sniffing coke once but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose!

I like listening to music in class. The only problem is, I have old school crappy headphones. They're ginormus. Today the teacher asked me "Am I stupid, or are you listening to your music.?"
"Ah, both.."

Daddy once told me that when mommy passed away, she was taken by the butterflies into Heaven. From that day forward, I swore that I would torture and kill every last one of them until they would reveal to me the location of this so called 'Heaven.'

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

Like it or not, god made pot.

Two Lovers plan to commit suicide.
Boy jumped first, Girl closed her eyes and returned back saying.. "love is blind"
Boy in mid-air opened his parachute saying "love never dies.."

1 morning I was in a bad mood my boyfriend pissed me off so bad:

Sam: Hey wh0re what's up?

Me: I'm not in the mood today Sam.

Sam: Aww, poor baby! Cry me a river.

Me: I'm about to fr*cking drown you in a river in a second.