Men, can't live with them, can't stuff them in your trunk.

I wAnT a MaN nOt A lIl BoY wHo ThInKs He CaN

When life hands you lemons, stick them in your bra to make your boobs look bigger!

CHOCOLATE MUFFINS
i love em and i haven't found one person who dosen't love em yet

(if you don't tell me cuz you got issues)

Ugh omg you give me the hibidy jibidys.

There is one thing i regret about high school and thats never getting to do half the things i heard i did.

It takes some skillz to trip over flat surfaces

I'm Sorry, My Concience Called In Sick Again

Im too tierd to slap you.....bash your face against my palm

Rich: "He wasn't thinking. Men think with their penises."
Me: "Oh, he was thinking. He was thinking HARD."