I don't insult people , I just describe them ;)

Did you know that if you light a candle under the moonlight and you say the name of the person you love 3 times, you will look really stupid doing that.

I've spent my whole life trying to find a girl with a psychiatric disorder that makes her think she's a woodpecker.

Depresso; the feeling you get when you've run out of coffee.

Thank you God for Tampons.

Step 1 - Change your Wi-Fi password to "blowmefirst." Step 2 - Wait for someone to ask you for it.

Size does matter-just ask Pluto.

Say no to drugs! Then again, if you're talking to drugs, you're probably already on drugs.

The only difference between doggy style and reverse cowgirl is who wants to watch the TV more.

Cop: do you know why I pulled you over? Me: pfft. I could think of like fifty reasons, I'm not falling for that.