Endless Night (Huitain)

by Cindy   Aug 10, 2009

So lost without you by my side
Worried, alone I sit and cry
On your words of strength I relied
The long dark nights slip slowly by
Silence surrounding, no reply
Soft breathing now the only sound
My mind still sees that day you died
Laying now beneath dark, cold ground

John I'm still waiting and missing you :(

Written By: Cynthia Graver
August 10, 2009

Written for a club challenge

A Huitain has 8 lines.

Each line has 8 syllables only.
Lines 1 and 3 should rhyme
Lines 2,4,5 and 7 should rhyme
Lines 6 and 8 should rhyme


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Latest Comments

  • 10 years ago

    by White Orchid

    This is a wonderful poem, I think I love it so much just because it is something real, that can happen to any of us and it is pure emotion! You are a wonderful poet!!!! :)

  • 10 years ago

    by Rocky

    That was a really emotionally sad poem. i dont usually like formally structured poems but that one didnt seem forced at all so well done. it was a good poem

  • 10 years ago

    by mikaela

    Wow. the emotions. it just touches me. nice..

  • 10 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    The feelings of loneliness can be felt within
    this write as well as the hurt of not been able
    to be with the one you love...touching..
    take care.

  • 10 years ago

    by Nee

    I didn't know about this form..thank you so much for the introduction Cindy :)
    nice rhyme, you did a good job with this form..except for this:

    "Laying now beneath dark, cold ground"
    there's something wrong with this line..
    it's like you omitted a "the" just to follow the syllable count, which made the ending sound a little bit shaky..
    Maybe you should place "the" instead of "cold" or "dark"..I see you wrote both cold and dark just for the emphasis.

    Anyway this is just a point of view :)
    Good job Cindy
    Write on~