i found you in the brume [Collab with Star]

by hiraeth   Aug 18, 2021


I, who has nothing,
but the remnants of your
song loudly echoing in my heart,
chase darkling skies in a rosy attempt
to pinken them to watch one more sunset
that bears your resemblance.

You
keep
collecting
wishes on
cumulus clouds,

just
like how you
collected
dandelions
within a rosewood
music box.

Of something north
of 9,500 sunsets, why were the ones
bearing your colours the ones
that stirred something
in me?

You don’t
have
time
to just
stop
and think

(...)

There’s
always
something to get
to.

Why do I look to the wind and
hope it’s carrying your name in the form of a
brewing thunderstorm? Do I only know
love in its extremes? I crave the moon tonight,
and only her, you can have the silken sun,
and the warmth she brings, I have our
memories that I’ll set ablaze to keep me warm.

Where are you if not here?

You challenged
Zeus, when he
told you
your wishes
will cascade
from the sky,

and
when
they hit the
earth
they'll
decompose
into the underground
world.

With nothing left, I, hold the three
syllables of your name hostage in my
mouth.

I’m sorry but I cannot risk
forgetting you again.

I have trouble letting go -
I know.

Though now,

the
cumulus
still holds you.

----------

Collab with Star https://www.poems-and-quotes.com/poets/507201

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Latest Comments

  • 5 months ago

    by Rayven

    One thing I love most about reading you two together is the vocabulary. I tend to learn new words. Not only that though, You always use the right wording in the right places to enhance the poem itself. It's quite difficult to use a "big" word in the title of the poem, to correlate to the poem itself, but you have done so effortlessly here. So I applaud you for that.

    Onto the poem as a whole.

    As I always say the first stanza of the poem should be the set up to the point and in my perspective you have done so wonderfully. I love the direction and vision I have while reading the stanza and it tells me thus: The character of the poem is lonely without this person they once knew. They were this warmth and comfort. This person every night awaits sunsets so they can try to remember what it was like to be happy. They look for a sign of the person they lost to see if they are still up above.

    Anything that is a reminder of them stirrs up feelings once lost and I love how you worded this, it is simple but rings true to depression or a memory. Anything can trigger a memory when a person is in that mindset and this person sees the beauty in color. Each sunset has different colors but when the right ones hit the feelings return.

    I love how this poem is structured. To me it reads like two different stories or memories that is in the mind of one person. It makes it easier for the author to read or at least it did for myself.

    I read the last few stanzas as them being an angel. And even though you still see beauty in colors this person's loss has hit you hard. You feel comfortable in extreme weather because that is how you are feeling right now.

    The poem as a whole is wonderful. I wouldn't change anything at all.

  • 5 months ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    To my knowledge, I haven't ever heard or read "brume" before, so what a wonderful new word to learn! I also looked up the pronunciation, and it's pronounced like "broom", just as I read in my head :D

    The format was interesting in this, with the choice to center it and the separation in stanzas as well. I liked it. It gave the poem more layers and made the few words in each line stand out with more purpose. The reference back to cumulus at the end too was brilliant.

    "Why do I look to the wind and
    hope it’s carrying your name in the form of a
    brewing thunderstorm? Do I only know
    love in its extremes? I crave the moon tonight,
    and only her, you can have the silken sun,
    and the warmth she brings, I have our
    memories that I’ll set ablaze to keep me warm."

    - This was so memorable to me. The amount of yearning and longing present in this poem is overwhelming, in the best possible way. The soft images you share, the shared bond with nature, the dreamy aspect, contemplation of wishes, and the role of memory here....

    Also, I don't really know the difference in types of clouds, nor can I name them on the spot, but I thought "cumulus" definitely had extra meaning here. They're not necessarily storm clouds, but they have the potential for precipitation, if I understand correctly. Usually, these are the puffy clouds that give people that image of "dreamy" and "fluffy". They're not menacing.

    I also thought about your urgency and need and desire to watch these clouds, as almost a sign from this lost love, connecting clouds with the memories of sunsets and also observance. Omnipresence. This love lingering in the air, everywhere you look, accumulating in your heart and mind.

    I liked that you admitted near the end that you have trouble letting go. There is still searching, reminiscing, hoping to never forget. And everything in between. So much depth in this!

    You two are just... dazzling! As usual!

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