Don't worry about life; you're not going to survive it, anyway.

If you think life is bad, imagine what its like for an egg, you share your pad with 11 other guys, it takes 4 minutes to get hard, 2 minutes to get soft, you only get laid once and the only chick that sat on your face was your mum... life isnt that bad

Life's a b**ch so get a pimp! :)

(something i thought of during a dumb moment lol)

A friend in need is a friend indeed, but a friend with weed is better, a friend with breasts and all the rest, a friend thats dressed in leather.--got it from my friend Landon :D

"Food eaten while walking contains no calories."

I have a bath tub and a thing of yogurt I can survive anything!

Never knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run away! Death really hates that!

That is so appropriate without being appropriate in any way.
-Z

Im sitting in my living room listening to me sister drop bombs into the ocean!(i got that one from somewere but i changed it a little to fit me)

Nietzsche says "God is Dead."
God says "Nietzsche is Dead."
Who wins?