A mans greatest embarrassment: Running into a wall with an erection and breaking his nose...

You're dating my ex? Ohh.... that's cool... I'm eating this sandwich, you want those leftovers too?(;

That awkward moment when a fat girl says she's fat...

Question authority, & wen authority answers-arch one eyebrow & say, "is that so?"

" Rap started When a couple of guys Who were up to no good Startin makin trouble in my neighborhood..."

Heck, that's like trying to get an elephant to fly. Good luck with 
that. Elephants won't even go on airplanes.

To my sister: that's very ungrammer of you

Frowning uses more muscles than a smile does - so what's the more efficient of the two? (:

An organism is anything and everything that is living. Remove the 'NI' from organism and we have orgasm - happiness. Living = happiness.

Dear Maths,
You have GOT! to learn to solve your own problems,
I've already got enough problems of my own and stop giving me failing grades...