If you love something, and you set it free, and it doesn't come back... you're a dumb@ss.

He believed that if muffins took over the world he could get out of his history preject. He believed it so much that he actually went home and baked them. Then threw them at the teacher screaming about world domination..

I don't know why, but when people continuously say the word 'like' in the middle of all their sentences it really gets me. Sometimes it's so bad that I want to lean over and punch them in the forehead. You know?

Him: I dunno why you wear a bra, you've got nothing to put in it.

Her: You wear pants don't you?

hahahah!

You're the reason why people were born with middle fingers.

Life is all about ass; you're either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, busting it, or behaving like one.

I hate two faced people. It's so hard to decide which face to slap first.

-Things to do today-

1. Wake up ~~ check
2. Check the clock ~~ check
3. Facepalm that you're late ~~ check
3. Create this stupid checklist to make you laugh later ~~ check
4. Miss work and go back to sleep ~~~~

Sometimes. Correction, all the time. I mess up. It's usually stupid things that don't matter to anyone else but me. Until I get them in the mess too..

Some people just give off that seriously creepy feeling that makes the hairs on your neck stand up on end, shrivel up, and then fall off.