"Sneaky...Sneaky like a fish!!!" - my sisters ex-boyfriend

MOOOOOMMM!!! You almost mad me run over a MEXICAN!! --my friend.

Why do girls talk so much and guys think so much? cause girls have 4 lips and guys have 2 heads

My friend asked me how to find the gSpot on a girl. i said "googlemaps" lmfao

It's like finding a dead hooker in your uncle's room the morning of Christmas.....

See this Ipod ? Hear the music ? It's the only thing that's keeping me from killing you right now .

Smoking Helps You Lose Weight ... One Lung At A Time!

Moooooo..I'm a Chicken.lmaoo

Life is a bi*** because if it was easy; it would be you .

Well aren't you a waste of two billion years of evolution.