Funny Quotes

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  • Keep It Simple Stupid

    by matt
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  • If you polish a turd it's still a turd

    by matt
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  • I failed to see how I was weird when he was the one who wore bright orange all the time and had a sick obsession with ramen.

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  • Despite our teacher's lack of interest in our class, no one talked or passed notes. He had a knack for knowing who exactly it was and would throw a well-aimed pen, ruler, or eraser at our head. Hitting just the right spot where it hurt like hell.

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  • So he's a vampire... And vampires are real.... He isn't sparkling is he?

    I want whatever you're on... If you're getting turned on by a 'sparkly', pale, scrawny man...

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  • "say hello to my little friend."

    "I'd rather not..."

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  • Sit like a princess instead of a frog

    by MEMI
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  • Love goin to the pool [NEW LIFE GUARD] :9 i wanted to pretend that i was drownin but dad would've saved me

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  • Friend: omg im gona w8 for 30 minutes on the bus stop.....me: ok here is the plan see how many people hit on you ... take that number and divide 30 over that number.... you'll get the number pounds you need to lose lmaoo ... Friend: what a bitccch !!

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  • You're losing your flavor real quick, like a peice of gum. -ENE-

    by Jenna
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