Yes, madam, I am drunk. But in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly

Everyone needs to believe in something i believe i'll have another beer

Some ppl are like slinkies they're really good for nothing but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs ;P

I dont have an attitude problem you have bad F@#&*^! perception!

I rather be a betch than a whoe rather tell it like it is than blow every boy i know rather be known for what i do than who i screw ;p

Betch you have to be pretty for me to hate on you ;p

Hate= envy remember that sweetie

I accidentally rear ended a car at a stoplight.
The driver, a midget, got out and yelled at me, "I'm Not Happy"
I leaned down and replied, "Well Then, Which One Are You?"

How do I feel about gun control?
Break into my house one night && find out.

Friend: "Have You Seen My Acid?"
Me: "F**k Your Acid, Have You Seen The Dinosaur In The Kitchen?"