Philosophy of exercise:
Mrs. Binney's: no pain, no gain.
Mine: no pain...no pain.

My exercise regime: up down, up down. And now the other eyelid.

A balanced diet: a cookie in each hand.

I'm in my own little world, but its ok, they know me here.

Hey baby did you
Just break wind cause
You're blowing me away. =]

" This is an A & B conversation so C your way out of it before E jumps over D and really Fs you up G"

They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

Why is it that when we transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when we transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.

Several women appeared in court, each accusing the other of the trouble in the flat where they lived. The judge called for orderly testimony. "I'll hear the oldest first," he decreed. The case was closed for lack of evidence.