Funny Quotes

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  • A French in a hotel in NY, phoned room service for some pepper.
    Attendant: Black pepper or white pepper?
    French: Toilette pepper!

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  • Wife's definition of retirement: Twice as much husband on half as much pay.

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  • A boy tells his mom that he seen a boy & a girl sitting at the top of the roof & kissing. Then his mom tell him that they are gonna get married. Then the boy asks his mom: When is dad gonna marry the maid?

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  • What is the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.

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  • Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

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  • They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

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  • The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

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  • I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

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  • The trouble with life is there's no background music.

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  • Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

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