Don't laugh at the truth...
Because it's like laughing at someone who said they take slow classes because they're mentally retarded...

*This isn't meant to be offensive to anyone*

If all the raindrops were lemon drops and gum drops.....that would really hurt

The only reason i did not resort to homicide is because i don't want to make a train wreck out of my conscience. So you should thank it, or else you'd be dead by now.

Cheek to cheek
butt to butt
everybody bust a nut!

ha

If conducting countless careless conveniences counts as commands, then why do countless careless commands conduct conveniences?

=P

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful..
Ok,hate me because I'm beautiful...

Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch it to be sure.

I like escalators
because the can never break
they can only become stairs

"sorry of the convenience"
-Mitch Hedberg

"Squish a boob, save a life!"

Protect yourself from breast cancer!

" This is an A & B conversation so C your way out of it before E jumps over D and really Fs you up G"