A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"
"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."

Mouths closed, eyes on me.
Don't get those mixed up!

*Teacher talking to his class XD*

Reach out and touch someone...

No, not there!

It's always better to be overdressed than to be underdressed.

Everyday is a fashion statement.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"

Annie replied, "Because people are sleeping."

THE ECONOMY IS SOO BAD, THAT MADONNA ADOPTED A CHILD FROM THE UNITED STATES ****snare drum noise****

If you think nobody cares,
Try missing a couple of payments.

My friend: So Batman turned into Batman because he was bit by a bat right???
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHA your unbelievable ya lets go with that..