"Smoking kills, and if you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
Brooke Shields

"What's Walmart, do they sell like wall stuff?"
Paris Hilton

Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was. She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose

"Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them."

The easiest way to teach children the value of money is to borrow some from them.

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas

"You can only be young once. But you can always be immature."

To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent

I rock,
Guitar hero told me so xD