Don't underestimate the knowledge of stupid people.

I taught your boyfriend that thing you like.

You're probably just as fake
As the lies that you spread.

Everytime I see an Ugly Couple .. it gives me hope that there's someone out there for me.

Driving is like the 80/20 rule,
you're 20 you go 80,
you're 80 you go 20!

Me, "Seeee, I wear the pants in this relationship".
Him, "No you don't".
Me, "Yeah you're right. You wear the pants and I control the zipper!".

Is it good if a vacuum machine sucks?

ME: Are you naked?
Ky: I dont know...

HEY! I just heard, a short bus tipped over and I know how you dont like to wear your helmet because its hard to lick the windows. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.

If you are having a bad day, remember, It could be worse: You could be a conjoined twin, with a gay brother, who has a date tonight and you are the only one with a butt hole.