Love is learning to let go. If they come back they're yours, if they don't, then it's time to stalk them.

Until there's a ring on my finger and a ticket to Spain I'm off limits from the waist down.

When life give you lemons..find someone with vodka and have a party

Why are all nudists people that you don't want to see naked?

It's about time we've added some color to the white house!

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

--W.C. Fields

Save water
shower with me:)

When in doubt, lie.

When its too late to lie, tell part of the truth.

The horse has been stolen, so whats the point of locking the barn?

But no guards appeared- of course, they never show up when you really want them to.