Instant human ....
just add coffee

What the hell is a slug?
Its just a snail without a home. If I was a slug, I'd rob a snail for its house.

I could always tell when my X-Wife told a Lie, Because her mouth moved

"Kill two birds with one stone."

The birds point of view..:

"Poke two eyes with one beak."

Youh know wen its love
wen youh keep replaying in your head
of what he did
& just smile duringg class.

"DONT STAND BY THAT POLE! YOUR MAKING IT LOOK UGLY!"

I'm a terrible person. But hell, the sh*t I pull off is hilarious!

If it weren't for electricity, we'd all be be watching television by candlelight.

I once shot an elephant in my pajamas...

How he got in my pajamas, ill never know...

Someone needs to put in more funny quotes cuzz laughin at the old ones just dont cut it no more