I dont care if you lick windows, take the specail bus or occasionally pee on yourself...
You hand in there sunshine, you're friggen special!

Whenever you're feeling down, go outside and hug a tree....but run away if it hugs you back.

~ALR

Be good, or be good at it.

Written on a church sign: You'll never get a busy signal on the prayer line to Heaven.
Written below it: Bullshit, they never answer.

Doctor: Contrary to popular belief, what happens in Vegas, DOESN'T stay in Vegas. You have herpes.

Written on a bathroom stall: Don't hate me because I'm beautiful, hate me because I did your dad.
Written below it: Go home mom, you're drunk.

Am I number 1 on your to do list?

You remind me of a cherry let me pop you.

You got the buns, I got the weiner, hotdogs anyone?

Safe sex is great sex.. Better wear a latex.. cuz you dont want the late text.. The "i think im late" text