Be good, or be good at it.

Written on a church sign: You'll never get a busy signal on the prayer line to Heaven.
Written below it: Bullshit, they never answer.

Doctor: Contrary to popular belief, what happens in Vegas, DOESN'T stay in Vegas. You have herpes.

Written on a bathroom stall: Don't hate me because I'm beautiful, hate me because I did your dad.
Written below it: Go home mom, you're drunk.

Am I number 1 on your to do list?

You remind me of a cherry let me pop you.

You got the buns, I got the weiner, hotdogs anyone?

Safe sex is great sex.. Better wear a latex.. cuz you dont want the late text.. The "i think im late" text

Question of the day: If you wear long underwear, do you wear underwear under the long underwear because the long underwear is so long?

~ i HAVE SKiTTLES iN MY MOUTH! GUYS DO U WANT TO TASTE THE RAiNBOW?? .