Funny Quotes

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  • ILL NEVER WISH DEATH ON ANYONE, BUT THAT DOESNT MEAN I SAID NOT TO TORCHER THEM

    by corrina
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  • "I wasn't always an old perv, I used to be young." -my 46 yr old dad.

    by Aaron
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  • Sometimes its best not to question your friend.
    just help them dump the body bag into the river.

    by samantha
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  • Settle down precious...
    i know what your going through,
    10 minutes before you got here,
    i was gonna jump too.

    by samantha
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  • 3 guys walk into a bar
    the fourth one ducks

    by Stuart
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  • "Lets play happy!" says thing number one
    "No I can't. I don't have a costume!" replies thing number two

    by christina
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  • The more i drink the better you look

    by laurel
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  • *said while speeding down a highway*

    either your first or your last

    and if your last you dont matter

    -ricky bobby tasby
    (aka my grandpa)

    by XdangerouslyXgenuineX
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  • ''A hore is like a bowling ball gets's picked up,fingered, thrown into the gutter then comes back for more''

    by Yozelin
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  • Son: mom, when will you be a grandmother?
    mother: when you have a wife and son or daughter
    son: what's next?
    mother: nothing. i will die.
    son: then i won't take a wife, for i don't want you to die!

    a real story

    by wildfiona
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