My dad- *driving. opens a soda & takes a sip
my lil sister- daddy! stop! i heard on da news ssomeone went to jail bcuz yu arent allowed to drink & drive

*- true convo . lol

If quizzes are quizzical,
what are tests?

Let's play cartenpter
first we get hammered then I nail you

They come on strong with their pick up lines and flirty guided lies. Saying what they will to try and have me, but the look on their face is priceless when he [my boyfriend] comes into the conversation.

In a world full of broken hearts,
Sexually transmitted diseases,
Stalkers,
Kid nappers,
Pedophiles,
War,
Cheaters,
Liars,
And back stabbers,
you're telling me to, "Have A Nice Day"?

I don't care if you lick windows,
Take the special bus,
Or occasionally uri**te on yourself.
You hang in there, sunshine,
You're darn special!

All men have bolloks and all men can talk

therefore - all men talk bolloks

- Qi

When life hands you lemons, grab a bottle of vodka and have a party :)

He said he makes it rain.
i said boy stop you can't even make it sprinkle :)

It wasnt untill id packed myself inside the tent
that i realised id done somthing wrong