Don't think of yourself as an ugly person, Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.

Guys:
You will never never never ever, ever never for never ever, never ever never ever, EVER EVER EVER, never never, never ever for never ever never never never never ever ever ever EVER understand chicks. Just so ya know.

Jesus is coming....LOOK BUSY!!!

If he said she said i said you said then who said he said she said i said when you can't say you said i said he said she said?

i hate the way you are,i hate the way you look but the thing i hate the most is that im still in love with you!

Drink beer, drink wine, just as long you dont drink mine!!

Ya mommas like a vacume cleaner she sucks she blows and gets laid n the closet

Beautiful
Individual
That
Causes
Hard-ons

my boyfrend told me i was this

Im never wrong, i just say stuf that no1 else knows is true

At all the weddings, my aunts used to come up to me and tug on my cheeks saying "You're next!" They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals