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I'm singing to my dog and he is falling asleep... Freaking adorable |
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Why listen to cereal when you can crack your knuckles and it sounds like snap, crackle, and pop! |
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If the best things in life are free then why do the rich people get all of the good stuff |
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Don't follow in my footsteps |
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You realize you nearly ran into two people back there? the fat lady, and the person she swallowed! |
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Caller ID should be more detailed~ "Wants Help Moving" "Going to Whine" "Will Ask to Borrow Money" |
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She's so far out of my league she's playing for the other team. |
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Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid. |
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Wish God had said love your neighbors as you love chocolate, duh, it would now be easier for me to expect to get to heaven, but now am still leaping mercilessly. |
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Obesity: When you buy a hula-hoop and it fits you. |