How to get over your fear of the dark: As soon as you turn the lights off, start masturbating. No monster wants to see that sh!t. Then stare into the corner and whisper tenderly, "This is for you."

The worst thing about the weekend is the week that comes after.

Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit...

Girls are like Internet Domain names; the ones I like are already taken.

He who gets married again, deserves all that happens to him :)
Shokry Al-Qubati

Well, I hope you don't misunderstand me, I'm just flirting with you :)
Shokry Al-Qubati

I will ignore you so hard you will start to doubt your own existence.

It's so cold out this morning I seen two gang bangers with their pants pulled up.

My social life is very bad
my street dog sufferring from lung cancer because of over smoking..

Whoever determined that a 1-inch candy bar should be called "fun sized" should really re-evaluate their standards for entertainment.