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My hidden talent is letting all of my homework and other obligations pile up until the very last minute so i can crack under the pressure and have a mental breakdown |
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There are three stages of man: He believes in Santa Claus; he doesn't believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus |
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If you leave your children behind, pay your child support on time. |
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You wanna be an air force ranger, you wanna live a life of danger, you don't wanna get raped by strangers. |
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I can have my cake & eat it too, why? Cuz I baked that B! |
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That awkward moment when a rapist picks up a hitch hiking serial killer. |
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Dont judge a person by the color of their skin or by the content of their character but by the shape of their eyebrows |
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For as smart as I may be I balance it out with all my stupidity. |
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That moment when your mom is waking you up and freaks you out saying its noon and you jump out of bed to see that its actually nine :p i hate that |
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"I like the way this girl operates! She showed me her butt before she shows me her face! Is she a stripper?" |