My mother once told me with a devilish gilint in her eyes "When u fall in love with someone they will catch u when u have fallen" i didn't know what she meant then really knew but i do now cause i just landed on my but! :)

Success comes in cans not cant's, so if you need me, I'll be in the can!

Instead of "lol", try "lsimhbiwfefmtalol". Laughing silently in my head because it wasn't funny enough for me to actually laugh out loud.

I went to hell
but it was full
so i came back
for you....... =D

I only seems like I'm a smart@$$, because I'm surrounded by dumb@$$es

Keep talking, I'm sure eventually you'll say something intelligent... hmmm I might be waiting awhile.

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

The greener grass on the other side is probably artificial turf..

"If its limp, make a splint"

Can't help who pulls your heart strings
could be the puppy in the window