Funny Quotes

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  • Who moved the signs during my pursuit of happiness??!!

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  • I applied for a job at a mental institution. They said that I need to log 24 hours with a retard. Wanna kick it tomorrow? ..I got crayons.

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  • Don't raise your head too high, Lest you fall flat on your face.

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  • I just realized that the word "short" is longer than the word "long". HAHA!

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  • YOur PrETTY FacE is GOinG tO hELL! ^^'

    by SaRaH
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  • I can smell hypocrisy. And you my dear, are stenching my nose.

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  • He makes my inside sing la la la la la la la la

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  • I want something else. I'm not even sure what to call it anymore except I know it feels roomy and it's drenched in sunlight and it's weightless and I know it's not cheap. Probably not even real.

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  • I wish I was an octopus , so I can hug more people at a time.

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  • Cookies as big as frisbees. Muffins the size of flower pots. Bowls of pasta so deep, your fork can barely find the bottom.

    Don't tell me you're still wondering on where your diet went wrong.

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