Steak is something which has clearly died for my sins, and should therefore be utterly worshipped. With roasted potatoes and a good gravy.

If you can't forget things when you're drunk, sorrywhatcan't I?

ME:"Marshmellows are an asset to your daily breakfast"
FRIEND: "no noodles are... and you can pul marshmellow sauce on them if you'd like."
ME: "no way!!! the tiny lil marshmellows that can go in your hot cocoa." :)

You might think im crying because i think your mean... but Betch its because im laughing so hard at how stupid you sound!

Your mom is so ugly when i looked at her i though it was me

Excuses are like ass holes everybody has one and there full of shit

Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear.... Fuzzy wuzzy was at a fair.. fuzzy wuzzy had no hair... Fuzzy wuzzy was fuzzy was he???

*Lol my freind told me thiss

Do you wanna fight?! Oh wait, that's right. You don't fight your own battles.

IM A BLACKBELT IN PILATES! =D

You won't be safe in my house
there's a tiger in the bed