YAY! 88oz of Mountain Dew!! =D

Do all the push-ups you want. That won't fix your face problem.

Im not the girl next door..im the BIOTCH across the street!!

You look much pretty in those clothes n thinking of you with out 'em huh itz pretty much to me.. :)

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall,
Humpty Dumpty had no cell phone to make a 911 call.

I'm an angel, honest! These horns are just to keep my halo up.

"Life is like wondering if there’s a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. You just gotta wish and have hope there is. :]"

Finally i understands that a woman always gets the last word in an argument. Anything said after that is the start of a new argument.

Well, officer, he said 'Piss in the cup.' I said 'Shit in your hat!' ... and that's how the fight started.

The severity of the knot in the tie of your sweatpants is directly proportional to your need to pee.