Sometimes people look at me... And they're worried... That I'll... Reproduce...

People come up to me and they say "Do people really come up to you?"

I hate it when people try to be like me. I should probably be flattered, but I'm angry, and a bit annoyed... Because, seriously, the last thing this world needs is more "me's"...

You cant stop trouble coming through the door but you dont have to offer it a chair to sit on

I hate it when people tell me so-and-so is so-and-so spelled backwards. I really don't care. It's not like I'm going to be writing something then say "Wait.. What if someone wants to read this looking in a mirror".

Have you ever layed on your bed... And looked up at the stars and wonder to yourself... Where the Hell is the roof...?

Back in my day, I would have to walk to school in the snow. And the snow was 6 feet high, and I was only 3 feet. And sometimes there was ice. And I would just pray that it didn't defrost.. Because there was piranhas in there...

I want to work at a fast food joint... Just to be a smart a**. I would work at the window.. And someone would be like "Can I have a whopper?" and I would tell them "No."

I'm a great lover, I'll bet.

Ever see a parsnip? The first time I saw one, I thought it was some kind of retarded carrot.