How's my driving call 1-800-who-gives-a-shit-im-drunk!!!!!!!!!!

"What is this a competition to see who has the largest stretch marks? Mine are bigger than yours!"
(from a phone conversation with a friend; my response to her mentioning me having twenty kids and her having just one)

Im definately not bomb anymore
Im outstandinglooking.com

"We're born to die. Might as well have a tuna sandwich!" ~My brother.

We are young only once so lets frig it up right.

I am proud that I am Joeam because i am person who is strong and God-fearing.

Who says money cant buy happiness?!?
just buy happy pills!

Men were given two heads
but only enough blood to
think with one at a time

A feather duck went ove to a rubber duck:What happened to you?

The rubber duck said without moving: I had plastic surgery!

Sex,
Drugs,
Rock and Roll

Speed,
Weed,
And birth control