~~!~~!~~!~~WheN i fEEl FAt anD uGlY i gO TO kMarT~~!~~!~~!~~

(2 guys sitting in the bar, giving eachother a hard time)

guy 1: I slept with your mom!

guy2: what?

guy1: I slept with your mom!

guy2:Go home dad, your drunk.

-I'm busy now. Can i ignore you some other time?-

-From a sticker i got out of a 50cent machine.-

Love thy neighbor... just make sure the wife is gone first

Why is it people are more scared to see two guys holding hands, than to see two guys holding guns?

Don't let a guy break your heart, make sure he's pussy wipped from the start!
xxxxx ha ha my favourite saying xxxxx

Life is too serious to be taken seriously

Im the kind of person that laughs at a joke 3 times:
1) when its told
2) once explained
3) 5 minutes later, once i get it

Dont hate me because Im beautiful, hate me because your boyfriend thinks I am.

It's better to lose a lover.......Then love a loser.