You smeared yourself with honey and waked into the bear pit

Best friends: We are the type of ppl who laugh at a joke 3 times...Once when it's told..... the second time when they explain it....and (five minutes later) when we finally get it.....

Its not that i dont like you, i just dont like you, like you lol wtf?!

I'm so bored, I think I'm going to go help the dog chase cars! =D

If you can't get in the door, break a window. =D

Take it as a compliment when someone calls you "weird." Being considered "normal" nowadays isn't exactly something you should look forward to.

Me: i have a heart that pumps blood. you on the other hand have a stone that pumps acid

Him: well hearts are fragile and blood is weak. stone is strong and acid is corrosive so i don't have to worry about getting hurt

Yes! Call me a who*e, But remember, Ive allready been sold by Ruben, And I will never be another ones hoo*er

If you were cruisin for a bruisin,
By morning you'll be achin for Bacon.

Well Behaved Women Rarley Make History.