I tried to get the Facebook-Newsfeeder-thingy to say "Lee Beaver is no longer interested in women." but it didn't work, and you can't be in a relationship with Gandhi, or Satan....Facebook is so biased towards my people!
-Beaver

7 Out of 10 voices in my head say, SHUT UP, CAN'T YOU SEE I'M TALKING?

Hey do you own a chicken coop? Bcz you're really good at raising a cock.

--Mah friend Nick said that to me on the bus!

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

:D Not sure where this came from, but I didnt make this up.

" You are like a pretzel......dry and twisted!" LOL!

***I came up with it in math class!

I Said i loved you and that was a fact but a million apologies can never bring me back.

I have a dream that i will say I have a dream

"don't talk to strangers.........that's my thing xD"

Son, someday you will make a girl very happy for a short period of time. Then she'll leave you and be with new men who are ten times better than you could ever hope to be. These men are called musicians.

How do you nail jello to a tree????