Here goes to people whose kindness is mistaken for flirting ~ gimme five !! ^_^

Don't act like you know everything unless your name is "Google" .

I know dat everyone has the right to be stupid , but you're clearly abusing your privilege ~

Facebook's timeline is my favorite way to watch girls from high school get fat.

Calories
(noun)
Little critters that hide in your closet and sew your cloths tighter during the night.

Well if you don't like Adele, I can't have you in my life

A pretty girl can kiss a guy.

A bird can kiss a butterfly.

The rising sun can kiss the grass.

But you my friend, can kiss my as*!!!!

Boys are like bras; they hook up behind your back.
Girls are like condoms; they spend more time in your wallet than on your d**k.

If you don't like gay marriage, blame straight people. they're the ones who keep having gay babies.

Tickling
(verb)
Like being rapped, but you are forced to laugh.